The saga continues...

I haven't had any sugar in 2 months. I've lost 10 lbs. I feel great and I'm off my medication. Ok, now back to reality: I've eaten sugar off and on. I still weigh 150 lbs. I don't feel that great, and I'm on my full dose of medication. But the good news is that I feel God at work in removing my perfectionistic obsession with body size. I can actually look at myself in a full mirror without cringing, and determining to do everything in my power to lose it all, and fast! I prayed for months (before I went on the medication) that God would set me free from this perfectionism (which is just another word for self-obsession), so I have no doubt that this is all part of His loving, and good plan to free me. I can see His hand at work, even in my growing desire to be more like Jesus and less like a perfect size 6.

I am still trying to deal with my sugar addiction though, because it does tend to get out of control for me and become an idol in my life, which I don't want. I've basically declared war on sugar desserts, and I'm experimenting to see if it works to allow myself one dessert a week. So far this has been working (and I've been on it for a WHOLE week, so I know it'll last! haha). But we'll see. If it doesn't work then I think I'll just have to have a going-away-party for desserts (I'll only serve vegetables). Seriously, it is easier for me to totally abstain from desserts than to just eat regularly in moderation. I did it for about 2 yrs many moons ago. The sad thing is, the reason that it was so easy back then is because I had a passionate goal: To be and stay thin. The sad part being that I had more passion and determination to eat healthy when it was for self-exaltation than I do when it's to exalt God with my eating/abstaining. I pray that He increases my passion for His glory.

I really am amazed at how God works through all of our difficulties, pain, (and even our sins) to change us. He wastes nothing. This makes me think about other ways in which God has changed/is changing me and how so often it is through pain that He works. Even pain inflicted by another person's sin. Our pastor wrote an article called, "Is God less glorious because He ordained that evil be?" This is an amazing sermon that opened my eyes to God's sovereignty over sin as seen in Scripture. I'd encourage you to read it here.